Thoughts out loud.
Telling close people that they hurt you can be painful and leaves a person vulnerable - the worst you can do
when someone tells you that you have hurt them - is to start defending yourself and in doing so, belittling their feelings.
When you hurt someone, it is not (at the moment) about you - it is about them.
All my life I felt helpless when I would confront people - and they would act as if they are the victims of my 'outburst'.
No, no, no. If you hurt someone, if you did wrong - you have to either take responsibility or at least acknowledge the
feelings of a hurt party. I'm not talking about strangers here. Family, close ones.
When you are being accused - it is not the time to start defending yourself - it is the time to start defending your
relationship with the 'accuser' - because they are fighting to remain emotionally close to you.
If they didn't care, they most likely wouldn't say anything - they care and it's their cry for help.
Nobody has the right to hurt you. You have the right to stand up to those who hurt you, if you can.
Take back the power, they do not have it - you do.
I am talking about pain in close relationships here. I cannot stress enough: not about outright bullying, not about abuse, not about
violence of 'higher tiers' - it's too large and too broad a subject to cover in one short rant.
Sometimes those who love us, unintentionally hurt us - this is the subject here.
If they hurt you - confront them. If they are being assholes -call them out.
If they persist - cross them out.
Easier said than done - but absolutely necessary.
I've confronted and fought, and lost many - but kept some golden ones.
The ones who care more about their discomfort more than about your hurt-
are not deserving to be in your safe bubble. They must be kicked out.
The diamonds will listen, and they will hear your cries of pain.
(False accusations aside, this particular rant is only relevant to close and personal relationships, such as family, friends and lovers.)